he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize