she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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