Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
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he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
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I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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