I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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