that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
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I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
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I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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