We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
so let's talk penis.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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