I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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