I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
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