He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
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