My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize