In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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