we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize