evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
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