Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
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