the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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