Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize