I think i sorta joined a cult last night
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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