Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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