Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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