i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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