The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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