his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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