im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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