did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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