well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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