is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize