Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize