so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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