I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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