I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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