why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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