Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
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We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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