soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize