Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize