so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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