all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize