I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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