are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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