Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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