If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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