No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
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