So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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