Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
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The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
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I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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