i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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