You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
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