i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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