i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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