i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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