I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
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She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
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Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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