Porn is love you can see.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
So much rum. So many feels.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize